Seems like I only remember this blog when i'm on school holidays and have a little 'me' time. Well...seriously what IS 'me' time? The truth is 'me' time is time spent ignoring the kids while I write 2000 word essays critiquing a research article. That's how I spent my beautiful first day of the school holidays. Crap! AND i'm not even done!!!
Mom died....2 years ago on the 14th. I miss her for so many selfish reasons. I miss having someone care that I was sick, or tired, or even happy. I miss having someone to call because we had the most amazing snow storm and Zoe finally wore the snow suit mom sent her (it's far to small for her now..but she wore it anyway). I miss calling mom to cry and having her tell me it would all be ok. I miss her telling me i was a b*tch everytime I called because I always told her what I thought she should hear, not what she wanted to hear (that's why she called Treena instead of me..lol). I miss stealing her clothes, and calling her for recipes, and buying her Christmas presents, and getting packages from home with my only really surprise presents.
I miss referring to her in the present tense..instead of always "mom did or mom said or mom sent or mom gave". I miss debates with mom and help with the wording of assignments. How many people have a walking dictionary for a mother?
I miss mom's sense of humour and knowing I was loved. No matter what we did, we were loved. And I miss feeling that from her.
I miss the years of going shopping and out for lunch we'll never have. I miss the kids meeting their Nana Lyn. I miss taking care of my crazy dottering old mother that I'll never get to do. I miss surprise phone calls from mom out of the blue.
I hate being a grown-up because I dont have a mom anymore. I hope she's looking down on us from Heaven and knows that she's still very much a part of my life..of my family's life.
I love and miss you Mom.
xoxoxo
Sandy
Sunday, September 26, 2010
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